Today is Self-Evaluation Day. On the 25th of every month I have a self evaluation where I dont talk to people and I contemplate my life. At the end of the day I fill out a self-eval form and set goals for what I need to improve myself on for the next month. I also try to write down things that I have improved on and things I am proud of, I mean, everyone needs some time to focus one themselves right?
This months focus is on being like "girl #3". Girl 3 is the type of daughter/friend/sister everyone should want to be. She is nice, fun, develops her talents, gets good grades, and is a perfect role model. She always thinks good thoughts and does not linger with boys in any way that would provoke sexual contact. In other words shes more friends with boys than flirting with them. I want to be like that. Girl 3 also is an exceptional student and puts all her effort into everything she does. She is talented, intelligent, outgoing, outrageously kind, and strives for perfection.
As another part of self-eval day I try to clear away all the stressors and reorganize my brain. I "threw away" all the bad thoughts, all the pointless,unfocused thoughts and all the distracting thoughts. March is going to be stressful so I need to focus on school and dance, and let nothing blindside me.
(This weekend my family is going to Disneyland and so Ill post pictures of the family event (:! )
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Smitten with the Spirit, Overwhelmed with Emotion
Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Cant go far but you can always Dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Dont you worry, hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly away
I wish I could describe how I feel right now. I am sitting on my floor with my laptop on my lap. Tears are streaming from my face, the song A Beautiful World by Tim Myers is on repeat and all I can think about is how grateful I am, how lucky I am, just everything good about life. For weeks Ive been trying my hardest to get the spirit into my life again, and today I just recieved that spirit firsthand.
I just want to tell everyone I know how much I love them. I just want to be nice to everyone, I want to fix all my mistakes and never make anymore. Im trapped in a Heavenly bubble that I never want to leave. This is the most undescribable feeling. In church today we were told to be nice to our family just as captain moroni was to his people. Now Im going to take that challenge ten steps further and be extra loving to everyone. I've had a great change of heart, I know my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy and right now thats exactly how I feel.
( a video of the song im listening to)
I love my life and I love everyone in it. Wow, you may be thinking I am crazy but right now I am overwhelmed with emotion. I cant explain everything that Im feeling but I wish I could capture this and put it into a bottle for later. My future seems bright and my present is wonderful. Uplifted and full of joy, I am going to be a better person, a young woman of excellence, an obedient daughter, a loving sister, a worthy child of God, and most importantly, the best me I can be.
How you wonder who you'll be
Cant go far but you can always Dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Dont you worry, hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly away
I wish I could describe how I feel right now. I am sitting on my floor with my laptop on my lap. Tears are streaming from my face, the song A Beautiful World by Tim Myers is on repeat and all I can think about is how grateful I am, how lucky I am, just everything good about life. For weeks Ive been trying my hardest to get the spirit into my life again, and today I just recieved that spirit firsthand.
I just want to tell everyone I know how much I love them. I just want to be nice to everyone, I want to fix all my mistakes and never make anymore. Im trapped in a Heavenly bubble that I never want to leave. This is the most undescribable feeling. In church today we were told to be nice to our family just as captain moroni was to his people. Now Im going to take that challenge ten steps further and be extra loving to everyone. I've had a great change of heart, I know my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy and right now thats exactly how I feel.
( a video of the song im listening to)
I love my life and I love everyone in it. Wow, you may be thinking I am crazy but right now I am overwhelmed with emotion. I cant explain everything that Im feeling but I wish I could capture this and put it into a bottle for later. My future seems bright and my present is wonderful. Uplifted and full of joy, I am going to be a better person, a young woman of excellence, an obedient daughter, a loving sister, a worthy child of God, and most importantly, the best me I can be.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The Crew Behind This Brown-Eyed Babe
I figured since this blog is for me to record my life, Im going to do a post about all my the people who help make me into who I want to be.Its going to be completely honest and exactly how I feel about them. I want to look back and be able to know I was surrounded by great people even in a world so full of evil.
Jonathan Walker is probably the best friend I have. He is always there for me, and even when we get in fights we always make up. Our friendship is one of those unexpected bonds, he is a quiet, sarcastic, smooth-flowing kind of guy and I am a loud, outspoken girl who is constantly saying the wrong things. We are complete opposites yet somehow our friendship works.
Kaylee Rayne Knowlton. My friendship with kaylee has only been since summer of 09 but its been a wild ride ever since. We of course ,like all friends do, have gotten into the occasional fight and we have a problem of being jealous of one another.Our friendship is not perfect, its the farthest thing from it but she always knows what to say to me and how to handle my craziness. Kaylee and I put aside our differences and at the end of the day, are friends forever.
Demi White. I just met Demi this past year and were still getting to know eacother but let me tell you, she is an amazing girl. She is the as close to perfect example of Christ-like features. She is nice to everyone, funny, smart, outgoing. I always remind myself to be more like her and her kind-heartedness. But I cant help wondering if shes as perfect as she seems. Does that make me a bad person?
Holly Neilson. Holly always makes me feel so great. When I feel like giving up she is there to pick up the pieces and make sure I stay motivated. She is extremely nice and I am so glad we are friends.
Tyler Morris. I also only met this boy this year but he has definately proven to be a great friend. Its always nice to be able to start fresh and with him thats exactly what Ive been doing. Were just friends and hes very easy to talk to, I can tell him anything and he has advice for everything in return. He also brings smile to my face everyday and thats something I will always be grateful for.
Annemarie Pace. She is the dork to my nerdiness. Were always either laughing outragously or in a deep conversation. She is such fun to have around and keeps me in check when I need it most. I can count on her to lighten my day with the great Spirit she carries with her.
Kylie and David Winward. These two are a huge part of my life. They influence me to be my best and be a good example by being the example themselves. I can always count on Kylie for anything and David and I have shared tons of smiles and giggles. I really hope these two stay in my life for long time.
I am soooo grateful for all these people and more. They all have a huge role in making me who I will someday be. So to all those mantioned and to those who remain unnamed, I love you. (:
Jonathan Walker is probably the best friend I have. He is always there for me, and even when we get in fights we always make up. Our friendship is one of those unexpected bonds, he is a quiet, sarcastic, smooth-flowing kind of guy and I am a loud, outspoken girl who is constantly saying the wrong things. We are complete opposites yet somehow our friendship works.
Kaylee Rayne Knowlton. My friendship with kaylee has only been since summer of 09 but its been a wild ride ever since. We of course ,like all friends do, have gotten into the occasional fight and we have a problem of being jealous of one another.Our friendship is not perfect, its the farthest thing from it but she always knows what to say to me and how to handle my craziness. Kaylee and I put aside our differences and at the end of the day, are friends forever.
Demi White. I just met Demi this past year and were still getting to know eacother but let me tell you, she is an amazing girl. She is the as close to perfect example of Christ-like features. She is nice to everyone, funny, smart, outgoing. I always remind myself to be more like her and her kind-heartedness. But I cant help wondering if shes as perfect as she seems. Does that make me a bad person?
Holly Neilson. Holly always makes me feel so great. When I feel like giving up she is there to pick up the pieces and make sure I stay motivated. She is extremely nice and I am so glad we are friends.
Tyler Morris. I also only met this boy this year but he has definately proven to be a great friend. Its always nice to be able to start fresh and with him thats exactly what Ive been doing. Were just friends and hes very easy to talk to, I can tell him anything and he has advice for everything in return. He also brings smile to my face everyday and thats something I will always be grateful for.
Annemarie Pace. She is the dork to my nerdiness. Were always either laughing outragously or in a deep conversation. She is such fun to have around and keeps me in check when I need it most. I can count on her to lighten my day with the great Spirit she carries with her.
Kylie and David Winward. These two are a huge part of my life. They influence me to be my best and be a good example by being the example themselves. I can always count on Kylie for anything and David and I have shared tons of smiles and giggles. I really hope these two stay in my life for long time.
I am soooo grateful for all these people and more. They all have a huge role in making me who I will someday be. So to all those mantioned and to those who remain unnamed, I love you. (:
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Rain.
Its been a rainy couple of days in the beautiful town of Henderson, Nevada. I LOVE it. Rain puts me in such a clear mood, the feeling of a clean earth. Especially because prior to this storm I have been indulging in my guilty pleasures, turning cold against the gospel, and being "puffed up" in my heart.
But with rain comes a sense of cleansing, like the primary song says, "I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain. And ponder of the beauty of an earth made clean again..." I love this verse but best part of the song is, when it says,
"I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain"
The rain is the perfect expression of who I am and how I feel. I love the outpour, the way it freely flows just as my thoughts flow freely from my lips. It also has a sense that can create an atmosphere of sadness, but thats ok too, because I am not going to lie, happiness isnt present in my life at the moment. The heavy fog, the clouds,and the rain, it all seems to be a perfect reminder that someone out there understands me. Its the perfect reminder that I need to be a good girl, dodging all the bullets life shoots at me. The clean feeling after rain is like the clean feeling after I was baptized. The spirit of goodwill so strong it hurt pressing on me like a ton of bricks. The way harsh rain skids against my face in the wind, when it feels so strong but yet feels so good.
I love the rain. I love the way it feels when trickling against my face. I love the sense of assurance it brings to my heart. I love that when it rains and the clouds are around I can feel a peice of the heaven Im reaching for. I love knowing that I am loved and the rain encloses that love around me.
But with rain comes a sense of cleansing, like the primary song says, "I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain. And ponder of the beauty of an earth made clean again..." I love this verse but best part of the song is, when it says,
"I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain"
The rain is the perfect expression of who I am and how I feel. I love the outpour, the way it freely flows just as my thoughts flow freely from my lips. It also has a sense that can create an atmosphere of sadness, but thats ok too, because I am not going to lie, happiness isnt present in my life at the moment. The heavy fog, the clouds,and the rain, it all seems to be a perfect reminder that someone out there understands me. Its the perfect reminder that I need to be a good girl, dodging all the bullets life shoots at me. The clean feeling after rain is like the clean feeling after I was baptized. The spirit of goodwill so strong it hurt pressing on me like a ton of bricks. The way harsh rain skids against my face in the wind, when it feels so strong but yet feels so good.
I love the rain. I love the way it feels when trickling against my face. I love the sense of assurance it brings to my heart. I love that when it rains and the clouds are around I can feel a peice of the heaven Im reaching for. I love knowing that I am loved and the rain encloses that love around me.