Its funny that when things in life couldnt be any better, we always tend to want more. I cant say thats exactly my case but its very close. Everything in my life is perfect but I feel like somethings missing. Nothing is missing though, Im just not satisfied with myself. I feel like everything I do, I can do better, and that Im not living rightously enough, or contributing to the Lord enough. I have a total will, a complete desire to to good and follow the commandments its just a tricky situation.
The other day my mother told me that I was like my father in that I have a countless number of friends but not a close best friend. She was right. And now I find that when Im lonely i wish I had a best friend to talk to. I have found comfort in only a few people, and I beleive this is the result of trust issues I have created for myself. Sister Waite, a sister in my ward, has been the inspriration to me this year. I try to live as though she was beside me. This is a struggle but it makes me think about and strive to live more rightously.
WIth Christmas just around the corner I think I am going to try lifting others spriits and bring peace to others in hope it will bring peace to my own hectic mind. So for now, although I continue to be miserable, I will be miserable at best.
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